Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
