my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
