Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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