Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
