I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
