dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
