Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
