Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just forgot I was standing up.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
