i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
you never un-have a 4some
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
