do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
