So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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