I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
