At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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