Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
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this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
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Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm always down for nudity.
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