I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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