Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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