so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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