Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
