just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
