hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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