Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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