the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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