And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
