I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
