Will you blow on my dice?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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