So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
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I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
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I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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