He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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