so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
