could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
