Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
