I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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