So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Congratulations! We have a period
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
