Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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