just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
