idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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