I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
