The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
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I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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