I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
