I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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