Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My vagina is officially offended.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
