it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
