So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize