At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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