I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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