nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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