Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
