party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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