My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
