Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
