Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
