shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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