she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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