A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
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