Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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