U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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