This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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