ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
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He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
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GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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