But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
