; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
