I hate all girls vehemently.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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