TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
