I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
